The dance between staying and letting go
The decision to stay or let go can be difficult, especially during the transition from mid-teens all the way to your twenties. It's a dilemma that many individuals, particularly young women, grapple with. How do you differentiate between staying with someone who provides comfort or embarking on a path to find that comfort within yourself or with someone new? The challenge is in the uncertainty – you won't truly grasp the right choice until the other path also unravels itself.
I've witnessed this struggle numerous times and often think about the same questions. When is it time to move on, and when is it worth persevering? How prolonged is too prolonged? When do we reach the point of accepting that things won't change, or that change might be possible but won't come until much later? The fear of missing out on the right person is horrifying, and it's challenging to create a balance between staying open to new experiences and guarding ourselves against the unnecessary heartache of new people and experiences. These uncertainties often leave us hanging, potentially depriving ourselves of the respect and happiness we actually deserve.
What if it is the other way around? How long do we wait until our significant other/friend decides whether they want this relationship long-term? From my experience, we sometimes like to believe that we're the exception, immune to these dilemmas. In certain situations, we may hold onto the idea that our partner's indecision is purely circumstantial, rather than a conscious choice. By allowing ourselves to think this, it gives the person more leeway to decide on our behalf. Leading once again to depriving ourselves of that self-respect.
The balance is difficult because those people are indeed rare, and whether the circumstance is tricky or too easy, it's not always worth leaving to find your own path by forcing yourself to let go of something good. Because sometimes that “something good” is really what's meant for you, to grow and learn who you truly are. Some people are brought to your life to enrich it and not take away from all you are.
While these thoughts primarily center on romantic relationships, this idea extends to friendships as well. How long should we hold onto a friendship when circumstances are the only glue holding it together, rather than genuine affection? It often takes significant events to truly evaluate whether a friendship is worth preserving. Whether it's surviving a horrible breakup without your best friend or ending a situationship that you held close…these events all decide whether your relationship ever had as much depth as you thought it did.
In the end, these decisions are deeply personal and context-dependent. They require self-awareness, respect, and the courage to take a leap of faith when necessary! It's all about finding the balance of honoring your emotions and ensuring your own well-being. In the grand scheme of things, the dance of letting go and staying can only really be healed by time.... and as time unfolds, clarity often follows!
What's the Catch?
You don't have all the time in the world to wait around until you are 100% sure.
